If you’ve ever visited a typical urgent care—gray walls, hard chairs, and the inevitable receptionist who may or may not know you’re there—then you know Glump. Glump’s favorite colors are drab and dingy and his frown is permanent.
But we never see him glumping at Gateway Immediate Care. The reasons: Our bright, comfortable environment and friendly staff right out where you can talk with them.
But we were curious to know what makes Glump tick. So we asked him for a chat. He agreed and glumped to meet us on a cold, gray day (his favorite kind).
Q: Hello, Glump. We’ve never met a Grouchie before, so how can we make you comfortable?
Glump: I prefer discomfort, thank you.
Q: Don’t come to Gateway Immediate Care, then! It’s full of cozy furniture and lots of natural light. What kind of environment do you prefer?
Glump: The buzzing of florescent lights calms my mind and dingy, cushionless, immovable plastic furnishings soothe my crooked spine.
Q: We don’t have any of that at Gateway. But, about your crooked spine, we could get you an X-ray—and in and out efficiently. Otherwise, what about art: What kind of art do you like? Maybe contemporary pieces or the impressionists—
Glump: In general, I’m not a fan of art. However, I have slept in a few grubby motels with acceptably garish artwork.
Q: Boy, would you hate Gateway. Even the light fixture over our reception area is a sculpture. How about greenery?
Glump: With salt, pepper, and in a nice roux, yes.
Q: We don’t consume the greenery at Gateway—and we always clean and sanitize everything. Do you and the other Grouchies enjoy interacting with humans?
Glump: Of course not. Look: There are hundreds, even thousands, of other dreary, indifferent urgent care centers for me and the other Grounchies to consider. But I will certainly not be stopping at your Gateway, or Hancock Health, for that matter. You’ve wasted my precious time. The next time I see you or your kind, remind me not to talk to any of you.
With that, Glump glumped back to his dusty corner.
And we were glad to see him go. If you’re looking for Glump-free care, visit us at Gateway Immediate Care. Our bright, friendly, spotless clinic is conveniently located at I-70 and Mt. Comfort Road and our Save Your Spot feature lets you get in line online, even before you arrive. And you can contact one of our friendly staff members by calling 317-866-7300.